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Cold Turkey Climber July 21st of the third year

"CAPTAIN! WE'RE BREAKING UP!! SHE CAN'T HOLD OUT MUCH LONGER!!! AHHHHH!!"

Ah yes, good times. By the time I got to the end of yet another divebombing down a mountainside, I had lost my voice. There's nothing quite as exhilarating as a long, steep and weaving descent through tight, empty roads in no-man's land. It's a fantastic ride for a short while, but in the back of my mind it's slightly torcherous -- every inch of elevation lost is one more inch of elevation I'll have to very soon regain.






And so, up we go. Again. And again. And again. And again. I'm now a 5-time member of the mile-high club and it isn't nearly as satisfying as we've been led to believe. The same logging truck keeps passing me in both directions as it loads and unloads its cargo. It roars by me for a week straight, back and forth, and each time I'm puttin' along at a good 4 mph absolutely drenched in sweat. It's getting ridiculous. This map through Washington is by far the most difficult and lucky me chose to bike it cold-turkey after a year of sitting on my ass. By the time I get to the top of the next pass, I don't want to leave. So, I have a little picnic, read a bit, wash my ears, brush my teeth and stare at the clouds. I stand up at the summit for a good 45 minutes procrastinating having to leave and eventually decide that I'll just do it tomorrow. So, into the woods, out with the tent and goodbye 'til morning.

In the morning, we ride to the bottom. Again. "I hope I didn't go down the wrong side..." Ah, wouldn't that be horrible. I'd probably hop the next bus to Minneapolis instead of turning around. When I reach the valley floor, I once more have to begin a hellish climb back to the top of another mountain. So, as is the fashion these days, I procrastinate the climb. Find the library, go food shopping and eat a whole chicken. Great. Now it's time to go. Now that I've sufficiently gorged myself, my body can't decide between oxygenating my muscles or digesting the bird I just ate. Awesome. Being me is a fun mix of clarity and stupidity. I stop every 100ft before I finally reach the top.


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The Simple Living Guide

Written by Jane Luhrs


1997
Living simply is being fully aware of what you're doing and why you're doing it. This book will elevate you out of your own world to take an objective look at your actions.




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